It had been four months since I had stepped on a scale. I wasn't excited in the least. In fact, I was thoroughly dreading stepping onto that scale. As if it were a fiery dragon that would singe my feet or incinerate me once I touched it. Yet, I had avoided it for long enough and it was time to realistically see what work needed to be done in the health and fitness department in my life.
For months I had imagined a worse case scenario. Where would I weight in? I seriously thought I had gained at least twenty pounds during Covid. In the privacy of my friendships I called my weight gain the Covid Baby. I wasn't actually pregnant, but with my little tummy forming over the last eighteen months it just looked like a little baby was in there. Unlike the rewards of being pregnant, however, this was just a fat baby that needed to be gone so that I could fit into my clothes again.
So today was the day. I woke up and did my long run. I actually ran eight miles. I haven't done that since I had COVID back in August. I can't believe I ran eight miles. After the run I decided it was time to step on the scale. I made sure I went to the bathroom before I stepped on, and I took all my sweaty clothes off - all that is extra weight. Then I prepared myself for the worst. A twenty pound increase was honestly what I was prepared to see.
Yet when I stepped on and looked down and I couldn't believe the number I saw! I was only a few pounds over my normal weight pre-Covid, AND I had actually lost weight since the last time I stepped on the scale! Seriously I was speechless.
There is a point to this story, I promise.
You see, for weeks I was imagining the worst about myself. That fear of what I would see on the scale is what kept me off the scale. When I actually stepped on and realized I had only gained five pounds I realized that I had been sabotaging myself. All this time I thought I was one thing, but the scale said I was another - and it was better than I could have imagined.
The scale never lies.
It wasn't until my desperation for honest evaluation exceeded my fear that I took the leap onto the scale. I needed to know honestly where I was so that I could set goals for where I wanted to be.
Can I talk about accountability for a moment? Accountability is like a scale in our lives. With the right people surrounding us, it can help us grow and take steps towards our goals. If we never know where we are at, how will we know what steps to take to get us where we want to be.
Accountability first starts with my relationship with God AND being honest with myself. I need to read God's word for myself, firsthand. I need to ask Him to illuminate areas of my life that need His power to change. Then I need to respond in obedience to Him.
I need to be honest with myself. I'm reading a great book right now called Better Decisions, Fewer Regrets by Andy Stanley. The first chapter ends with a commitment "I will not lie to myself even when the truth makes me feel bad about myself" (page 50). He's talking about honesty. We need to be honest with God and then we must be honest with is ourselves. When God puts His finger on things in our lives, we need not be defensive, rather responsive and honest.
I also need accountability in friendships. There MUST be people in my life that I'm completely open and honest with. These need to be the RIGHT people.
For me, women of integrity. Women who cultivate intimacy and obedience before God. Women who don't just say they want God's best but actually pursue God's best. Women who are selfless and serving. Women who are honest and will call out areas in my life that are out-of-whack. Some of these women are older than me. Some are younger. Some are my age. All I respect like all-get-out. These true friendships make life so much sweeter.
My encouragement to you would be this: Don't be afraid to be open and honest with yourself, honest with God and honest with the right friends in your life.
Don't look at accountability like a fiery dragon waiting to incinerate you. Instead, as you allow yourself to step on the scale of accountability, I believe you will be surprised by what you see and the fruit it produces in your life—surprised in a good way. Accountability is a birthing ground for lasting growth within you.
"Who knows, with consistant accountability, you just might have your own "I can't believe" that happened moment."
PS. If you are in the Denver area on November 11th there's an amazing group of women called Flourish that will be meeting together. This would be a great place to get connected, face to face, to other women for accountability. Click here for more information.
Photo Credit: Elijah O'Donnell
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